Four years

Today was one of those days that started out so lovely, and ended in hell.

It is a Monday, which I actually like.  My day is busy from the moment I get to work until the moment I leave.  It makes the day go fast, and I really feel like I'm earning my paycheck.  However, shortly after I got to work I discovered that my boss scheduled my annual evaluation for mid-morning today.

My first thought was "I don't have time for this."

My second was "Can I tell her to fuck off, and still keep my job?"

I got busy, trying to work even harder than normal in order to stay ahead of the game.  Shortly after, she reschedules the evaluation for "later in the day".  As far as I am concerned, she can push it off indefinitely.  See, sometime today, I realized that this is my 4th anniversary with the company.  I guess I'm just superstitious, but I can't help but compare it with my OTHER favorite job.  I worked for a library for four years, the first three of which I was deliriously happy.  Unfortunately, the last year didn't work so well for me.  The day of my 4th evaluation with the library, I sat down with my boss and listened to her report on my work.  When she was done, I thanked her for her time, and then handed in my notice.

I really don't want to do that with this job.  But the parallels are there. The job has changed; the environment has become toxic.  We are leaching employees, stress is high, and overall it is hard to ignore the mood in the department.

Please let me get through this year.  Things will get better, they always do.